Hey, how are you?
Okay, I know that you would probably give me the classic and standard reply “I am good” or maybe “I am fine”. In case you were thinking of any such reply, then WAIT… we need to dig up and understand everything about emotions, emotional health, and the process of getting a clarity of thoughts. So that, the next time someone asks you “How are you?”, you don’t throw back the classic reply. Rather, you know exactly about how you are feeling and what your emotions are like.
So let us get started with first understanding a little about what is Mental Health.
We talk a lot about its importance and also advocate about mental health, but do you know what exactly does mental health mean? Don’t worry, I am not here to give you grades on this, in fact I am there to tell you exactly what it means!
What is Mental Health?
“Mental Health is a state of emotional, psychological, and social well-being”. It is a state where you are aware of what you are feeling, why your feeling it that way, and how your relations and behaviours impact yourself, and those around you.
Having explained about what is mental health, it is now important to shift the focus back to ‘Emotions’. Let’s talk a little more about Emotional Health. It is a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and how they affect your behaviour.
Are you present here or in your thoughts?
It is very rightly said that, ‘We are everywhere else but where we need to be’. What this means is, we maybe present somewhere physically but mentally we are completely tossed off and absent. Instead we are in our own biggest world, that exists between our ears- yes it’s our Mind! Nowadays, it’s indeed a big task to be emotionally and physically present at the same time. Being emotionally present means being in the now and then, the present moment, and having a calm state of mind.
For a matter of fact, a person who is anxious is always drifting in either past or future, due to which they lose on many moments which they could have cherished in the present.
Having read this, you must now be wondering about what can you do to be emotionally present and enjoy the present moments. Right?
Don’t worry, I have your back! I will share 2 Golden Rules of Emotional Presence, using & practicing which you can learn the art of being in the present moment. These are:
1. Deep Listening
As you would have read, the first rule of emotional presence is ‘deep listening’. You know, often when we are talking to someone, we are not listening to what the other person is speaking, rather we are waiting for our turn to reply or probably thinking of a suitable reply. Isn’t it?
And, when this happens then we are for sure not present in that moment. So one thing that you can do is to listen to what the other person is telling you, instead of thinking about your reply! Make efforts to understand what they are saying and telling you about.
2. Deep Talking
Deep talking is the second golden rule of emotional presence. What ‘deep talking’ means is, we need to ensure that while we are talking, we are involved in the conversation. And, we can be involved in any conversation only when we are conscious of the present moment.
Deep talking and deep listening is an art that comes with practice! So try to incorporate them in you everyday conversations with your friends, family, colleagues, and everyone around you.
Give them an ear which hears and not a person who is busy thinking of a reply!
What if you get to know exactly what you are feeling?
This busy world and social media as a cherry on the top has transformed us into machines. You know why?
Because it’s the machines which have no knowledge of their emotions and feelings. But, we are humans and we do have a variety of emotions, a variety of feelings and so much to experience!
So, let’s learn the art of becoming humans in this busy world, and having a control over our emotions!
Are you a person who loves to write? You should read this then!
Journaling. Journaling. Journaling.
If you are someone who loves to write and express through words, then Journaling is the key to understanding your emotions and unburdening your thoughts. Journaling is the process where you write down everything your are feeling or thinking about. Grammar or language is not a barrier. This is your diary where you can express yourself in any and every way you feel comfortable with. You can write paragraphs, sentences, one-words, or you may sketch out your feelings!
Isn’t it so exciting?
Journaling is a great way to vent and express yourself. When you make it a habit, then over-time you can analyse the pattern of thoughts you usually have. And, boom!!! You are now in greater control of your feelings as well as your emotions. Would you try this out today?
What if you hate writing? There’s something in store for you!
Valuing the aspect of individual differences, I understand that not everyone may enjoy writing or penning down their thoughts. But, hey don’t get dis-heartened! You can still do something which will help you unburden your thoughts!
The secret word is “Talking“//. Yes, whenever you feel confused, stuck, or unable to understand your emotions then you can talk to your friends or family members you feel comfortable with and trust.
Nowadays, there are also self-help groups. Here you can find people of your age group and interact with them, share with them and in that process unburden your thoughts. After all, talking cures and conversations are important!
Crying: A Taboo?
People say that crying is a sign of weakness. People say that men can’t cry. People say that those who cry are sensitive.
People say a lot of other things as well, and would keep on saying. But, our job is to know the truth and do what our heart feels like doing!
So, the truth is that our body has only 2 ways via which we can express our emotions. One is via the mouth, i.e. by talking what we feel (something that we discussed in the previous section). And, the second is our ‘eyes’. Our eyes are a way via which we can express our emotions.
Crying is a healthy way of letting out emotions and it is absolutely okay to cry if you want to! Focus on what I wrote, “It’s okay to cry if you want to!” This doesn’t mean that it is compulsory to cry in order to express your emotions, rather what I mean by this statement is, if you wish to cry and feel like crying then you CAN!
What if none of this works for you? Try this then…!
Some readers might say that ‘You know, I have tried all of this, but nothing seems to work for me!’ In this case the best thing that you can do is to visit a Mental Health Professional.
As individuals all of us are liable to feel overwhelmed and stuck, and thus, there is no shame at all in asking for help. That too, from professionals who are ready to provide that assistance and comfortable environment where you can unburden your thoughts, express yourself freely, and above all understand what you feeling and why you are feeling!
These are some of the golden ways via which you can unburden your thoughts and thus, understand your emotions. I hope that you all did have some major takeaways from today’s blog and also would try out these techniques.
Do let me know which one works the best for you!
I would like to conclude today’s blog by saying:
Where help is needed seek help, where change is needed seek change. Only then will we be able to increase the help-taking behaviour and reduce the stigma!Sakshi Kaushik
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